Monday, October 20, 2008
im really sorry.
Oh god. Im totally speechless. I said whatever that i said without even thinking. The victim that i hated the most was the one that had ACTUALLY LOOK INTO MY BLOG and had made her opinions in her blog. I'm so sorry. I seriously do and i admitted i had done alot of sins to you people. But, you did mention that i was slow and did not reach on time. Listen here, i changed for you on this 'so-slow' factor but then, that time when we promised to meet at the interchange, it wasn't entirely my fault. I admit i did made alot mistakes..... do you guys think i did that on purpose, leaving my friends out alone? Waiting for nobody's business? I don't. I was scolded you see. With my father. I tried to tell him that at least i would call you guys before the meeting time. But he didnt let. Until you guys call me.... I knew by then you guys were angry. Let me say this again, i was full ready and prepared half-an-hour before. I had to wait for my father to give me money. This was where my mistakes were. I'm sorry about not saving my money. My father came and was totally in a freaking bad mood and scolded everyone. EVERYONE. I knew, i had to really call you guys, i lost you guys once, and i don't want to lose you twice. That's the only thing that was in my mind... nothing else. Not money.... But, i was too late. You thought i didn't change and thus, leave me feeling sunk. I sent messages, apology smses.... but it took you once and a very long time, to reply back. In the middle of apologising, you guys stopped smsing. By then, i thought this would be the last time i would gain you ppl trusts again. But i didnt surrender and lose. I tried to be friends but i kept on hated. I don't know whether i was hated by you guys or maybe just the sight of me kept you disliking me... i dont know... only god and you know. By the way, big point i want to emphasise, im not scolding you only, but everyone. Don't get me wrong by not mentioning that girl's name in. I told you i don't like her! I SERIOUSLY DON'T LIKE HER!!! Why must i like my FRIEND who stood by me, support me, accompany me? All this are factors of just a FRIEND! I dun think i have to repeat this again, but i just have to, I DID NOT SMS THOSE I LOVE YOU MESSAGES to that girl. I did not and did not intended to. So please, i beg you, stop thinking the bad side of me. I thought by then, the more i try to be your friend, the more im being hated. So, i decided to leave and ignore you people. But then, i was wrong. I was still being hated. I dun hate you guys... but you guys just show me all those bad stuffs like hating me and that's why i thought you guys were mean. I appreciate all you people's help and everything, seriously, and im totally sorry if i hurt you guys all this while with those harsh words that i blogged. If we were to have a meeting again, i promise.. i mean i'll make sure i wont be keeping any backups... i'll make sure.... i dun even want to call you names.... because you are my friends...my close friends...my happy friends... my good friends.... im very very very sorry if i called you fat chicken. i dun want to call you that seriously. Btw, every second before the time where i wrote all those harsh words, i kept on forgiving and letting those harsh words that u gave fly past me. I did not take them at all. But like wat people always say, we don't always win. I could not take it anymore and i reflect those harsh words back to you guys. I'm really really really sorry. I don't wanna fight as well. I would at least appreciate if we just ignore each other and dont pick one another. But of course, i dont expect that to happen. I expect us to be together like always. We have done alot of sins and there's still plenty of time to ask for forgiveness. i'm sorry. Btw, when i know i was wrong, i did smsed apology smses right? Wasn't that called the first move? First move starts off with basic right? Isn't that the most basic thing you should in a fight? But a single reply was so difficult for you guys to answer. But, its ok. Its just a small thing. I hope you don't find my post as an excuse or signs of hatred or any bad suffs... I'm seriously speaking out the truth. I shall erase the blogpost that i had hurt you alrites... once again, im so deadly sorry and pls, i hope you do forgive me. If you don't at least, you can reply me. I appreciate that. I'm so so so sorry once again. Please forgive me..... 
